1. Be yourself, more, with skill
Principle: Authentic leaders use their uniqueness deliberately.
Practical steps:
- Identify your quirks, strengths, and values — and lean into them.
- Ask trusted colleagues: “What do I bring that others don’t?”
- Use your distinctiveness to energise others, not to dominate.
2. Know yourself, and show yourself… enough
Principle: Self-awareness and selective self-disclosure build trust.
Practical steps:
- Reflect on formative experiences that shaped your leadership style.
- Share personal stories that reveal values, not vulnerabilities.
- Let people see the real you — but with boundaries.
3. Reveal selective vulnerability
Principle: Strategic openness makes leaders relatable.
Practical steps:
- Admit when you don’t know — and model learning.
- Share past mistakes and what you learned.
- Ask for help when appropriate, especially from those you lead.
4. Read, and rewrite, the context
Principle: Great leaders adapt to their environment.
Practical steps:
- Scan your team’s mood, culture, and pressures regularly.
- Adjust your tone, pace, and priorities to fit the moment.
- Reframe challenges in ways that energise and clarify.
5. Maintain tough empathy
Principle: Care deeply — but challenge directly.
Practical steps:
- Know your team’s personal and professional goals.
- Offer support and stretch: “I believe in you — now let’s raise the bar.”
- Give feedback that’s honest, kind, and growth-focused.
6. Manage social distance
Principle: Leaders must balance closeness with authority.
Practical steps:
- Be warm and available — but don’t blur professional boundaries.
- Use humour and informality sparingly and intentionally.
- Step back when needed to preserve perspective and credibility.
7. Conform… just enough
Principle: Fit the culture without losing yourself.
Practical steps:
- Learn the norms and rituals of your organisation.
- Respect them — but challenge those that stifle growth or inclusion.
- Be the version of yourself that works here, without being fake.
8. Communicate with care
Principle: Leadership is enacted through communication.
Practical steps:
- Tailor your message to the audience — don’t default to one style.
- Use stories, metaphors, and examples to make ideas stick.
- Listen more than you speak — and show you’ve heard.
9. Understand what followers want
Principle: People follow leaders who meet emotional and psychological needs.
Practical steps:
- Create meaning: connect daily work to a bigger purpose.
- Build community: foster belonging and shared identity.
- Inject excitement: celebrate wins, energise change, and show passion.
10. Accept the price of leadership
Principle: Leadership is demanding, risky, and often lonely.
Practical steps:
- Build a support network outside your team.
- Schedule time for reflection and renewal.
- Accept that criticism and discomfort are part of the role — and lead anyway.

If you’re thinking about reading the book in full… just do it!
It is packed full of useful advice, but is very easy to read. There are useful diagnostic tools, too.
There is a follow-up book, which I am reading at the moment, Why Should Anyone Work Here?
